We tend to harp on the Second Amendment quite a lot on this blog, and today will be no exception.
Despite the withering strength of the Second Amendment these days, it appears as though there is one group of individuals that the federal government, perhaps unsurprisingly, wholly supports in its right to bear arms - the federal government.
Indeed, there are currently upwards of 40 armed federal agencies in today's version of America. Some of these agencies, such as the FBI, CIA, ATF, DEA, Secret Service, Homeland Security and Military Security Forces, will come as no surprise. And then there are the other ones.
For example, in 2010 the Department of Education purchased 27 Remington Model 870 Police-Variant 12-Gauge Shotguns. Why? To replace the aging models currently in use, of course! Here's a more detailed explanation, courtesy of The Washington Post:
"The Office of Inspector General is the law enforcement arm of the U.S. Department of Education and is responsible for the detection of waste, fraud, abuse, and other criminal activity involving Federal education funds, programs, and operations. As such, OIG operates with full statutory law enforcement authority, which includes conducting search warrants, making arrests, and carrying firearms."
So the DoE needs shotguns to handle wasteful and fraudulent misappropriations of education funds by teachers and principals? If your reaction to the above statement was anything other than "Why in the hell does the Department of Education have a law enforcement arm?", then you may have come to this blog by mistake.
Abusive teachers and officials do, of course, require their own category (the wording above is quite vague - I will give the benefit of the doubt that 'abuse' here is meant to signify the physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse of children in schools or by school officials, and is not being used as just another way of saying 'fraudulent use' or 'exploitation' of federal funds). But is it necessary to create an entire paramilitary wing of the Department of Education, when local police departments, and even the FBI, would be more than willing to investigate and apprehend such scum?
I wish that were the worst of it.
The Food and Drug Administration (not to be confused in ANY way with the Drug Enforcement Agency, which actually does conduct dangerous raids (whether or not you agree with their purpose)) makes a somewhat surprising appearance on the list as an armed federal agency. I neither exaggerate nor simplify when I say that the purpose of an armed FDA is to raid Amish settlements and small, local farmers who are suspected of possessing raw milk and other prohibited consumables with the intent to distribute and/or use them for personal consumption. Some people often mock Ron Paul for his advocacy of raw milk usage, but it's not often that these people mention the FDA's activities against it.
Speak of the Devil - the good doctor's son, Senator Rand Paul (R, Kentucky), recently introduced an amendment to the Food and Drug Administration User Fee Reauthorization bill which would disarm the agency and also allow for the acceptance of medicinal studies conducted outside of the U.S. to prevent “overzealous regulation of vitamins, food and supplements by codifying the First Amendment prohibition on prior restraint.”
So who else made the list?
It's bad enough that the right to bear arms is being eroded throughout the public sphere. But to do so while simultaneously promoting armed paramilitary forces in even the most (hilariously) mundane of federal agencies is downright terrifying.
Despite the withering strength of the Second Amendment these days, it appears as though there is one group of individuals that the federal government, perhaps unsurprisingly, wholly supports in its right to bear arms - the federal government.
Indeed, there are currently upwards of 40 armed federal agencies in today's version of America. Some of these agencies, such as the FBI, CIA, ATF, DEA, Secret Service, Homeland Security and Military Security Forces, will come as no surprise. And then there are the other ones.
For example, in 2010 the Department of Education purchased 27 Remington Model 870 Police-Variant 12-Gauge Shotguns. Why? To replace the aging models currently in use, of course! Here's a more detailed explanation, courtesy of The Washington Post:
"The Office of Inspector General is the law enforcement arm of the U.S. Department of Education and is responsible for the detection of waste, fraud, abuse, and other criminal activity involving Federal education funds, programs, and operations. As such, OIG operates with full statutory law enforcement authority, which includes conducting search warrants, making arrests, and carrying firearms."
So the DoE needs shotguns to handle wasteful and fraudulent misappropriations of education funds by teachers and principals? If your reaction to the above statement was anything other than "Why in the hell does the Department of Education have a law enforcement arm?", then you may have come to this blog by mistake.
Abusive teachers and officials do, of course, require their own category (the wording above is quite vague - I will give the benefit of the doubt that 'abuse' here is meant to signify the physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse of children in schools or by school officials, and is not being used as just another way of saying 'fraudulent use' or 'exploitation' of federal funds). But is it necessary to create an entire paramilitary wing of the Department of Education, when local police departments, and even the FBI, would be more than willing to investigate and apprehend such scum?
I wish that were the worst of it.
The Food and Drug Administration (not to be confused in ANY way with the Drug Enforcement Agency, which actually does conduct dangerous raids (whether or not you agree with their purpose)) makes a somewhat surprising appearance on the list as an armed federal agency. I neither exaggerate nor simplify when I say that the purpose of an armed FDA is to raid Amish settlements and small, local farmers who are suspected of possessing raw milk and other prohibited consumables with the intent to distribute and/or use them for personal consumption. Some people often mock Ron Paul for his advocacy of raw milk usage, but it's not often that these people mention the FDA's activities against it.
Speak of the Devil - the good doctor's son, Senator Rand Paul (R, Kentucky), recently introduced an amendment to the Food and Drug Administration User Fee Reauthorization bill which would disarm the agency and also allow for the acceptance of medicinal studies conducted outside of the U.S. to prevent “overzealous regulation of vitamins, food and supplements by codifying the First Amendment prohibition on prior restraint.”
So who else made the list?
- Internal Revenue Service - Thank God I filed on time this year! To be fair, I think we've all imagined ourselves roaring triumphantly, hammer in-hand, over the now-unrecognizable body of an auditor.
- The Small Business Administration - Just in case an 8(a) application is actually a terrorist device in disguise.
- The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration - A little-known but promising study has shown that hurricanes may be effectively dissipated by shooting them a lot. The study is suspiciously moot on whether or not this effect may be enhanced by yelling "Yee-haw!"
- The Railroad Retirement Board - Because ... you know what? I give up. I can't even think of a satirical reason for this one.
It's bad enough that the right to bear arms is being eroded throughout the public sphere. But to do so while simultaneously promoting armed paramilitary forces in even the most (hilariously) mundane of federal agencies is downright terrifying.
Just more evidence that we live in a cast-based society.
ReplyDeleteIt's quite scary to see citizens being systematically disarmed nationwide while the Dept. of Education is buying shotguns, the FDA is raiding the Amish for their milk-drinking habits, and the Railroad Retirement Board is doing God-knows-what with a law enforcement arm.
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